Using the Enneagram to Unlock Your Authentic Self with Jackie Coban

Jackie Coban

Were you as crazy about those quizzes in CosmoGirl and J-14 magazines as I was as a tween? 🤭 I’ve always been curious to find out more about myself because of how it made me feel understood… but I never really knew what to do with it. You too? 

In this week’s episode, I’m joined by Life Coach and a Personality Coach/Enneagram Coach, Jackie Coban, to talk about the enneagram and how it can be used as an amazing explorative tool for us to understand ourselves on a deeper level while embracing the magical parts of our personalities and what makes us, us.

LAUREN and jackie ALSO discuss...

    • A basic overview of the Enneagram and the 9 different types
    • Various applications of how the enneagram can work in helping relationships, or within the workplace 
    • That by understanding ourselves deeply, we can overcome obstacles and start living our lives to the fullest

    ABOUT jackie

    Jackie Coban, referred to affectionately as, “An Iron Fist in a Velvet Glove,” and is passionate beyond belief about making sure that self-awareness is demystified, once and for all. She is a Life Coach and a Personality Coach/Enneagram Coach. She is a dynamic, out-of-the-box thinker and champion for personalities who believe they are limitless. Her passion is simple:

    HELPING PEOPLE CRAFT THEIR OWN NARRATIVE WITH THE RIGHT LANGUAGE, TOOLS, AND INSIGHT to enjoy their human experience and live their dream life as themselves.

    Jackie is a heart-centered giver with a remarkable sense of purpose. Her down-to-earth approach provides a safe space for the reformer, the giver, the achiever, the individualist, the observer, the guardian, the enthusiast, the challenger, and the peacemaker to take their places at the table, whatever that means for them. She is an obsessive learner and avid question-asker who firmly believes everyone’s personality is dying to shine through and dominate the world — they just need to be asked the right question.


    Connect with Jackie
    Website: http://tablefor9coaching.com/
    LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jackie-coban-267233277/
    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tablefor9coaching/
    9 Journal Prompts for Each Type: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/64de4091c7567cef7b9f69f5

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    Episode hightlights

    (00:04:24) Jackie explains the basics of the Enneagram as a personality typing system that helps identify motivations, fears, and core aspects of one’s personality.

    (00:07:11) Lauren and Jackie discuss how personal growth and healing work can lead to shifts in one’s life, and how the Enneagram can provide insight and understanding during this process.

    (00:09:05) Jackie emphasizes that while personalities don’t change, personal growth involves embracing and expanding upon one’s authentic self, leading to a more empowered and fulfilling life.

    (00:10:41) The speaker reflects on a comforting moment with her mother and the realization that certain aspects of her personality are innate.

    (00:11:34) The speakers discuss their childhood experiences with personality quizzes and the excitement of feeling understood through them.

    (00:11:52) The speaker emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and how it can be a rewarding journey in embracing one’s true self.

    (00:22:12) The speaker discusses the journey of discovering one’s Enneagram type and overcoming feelings of embarrassment or shame.

    (00:25:15) The speaker explains how the Enneagram can be used as a tool to understand and improve relationships, whether romantic, friendships, or work relationships.

    (00:27:07) The speaker highlights the wide range of applications for the Enneagram, including personal development, eating habits, finances, and more.

    (00:30:35) Encouraging Dreaming and Imagining New Possibilities In this topic, the speaker discusses the importance of envisioning new possibilities and encourages listeners to keep dreaming about their lives.

    (00:31:18) The Power of Hypnosis for Overcoming Overwhelm The speaker shares their personal experience of using hypnosis to move from overwhelm and feeling stuck to being able to continue dreaming about their life.

    (00:32:40) Embracing Authenticity and Creating Compassion The speaker emphasizes the importance of embracing one’s most authentic self and how it can lead to creating more compassion and connection in the world. They also mention additional resources and support available on their website.

     

    *Click on the arrow below to expand the transcript

    Lauren Best (00:00:08) – Welcome to Provoking Possibilities, where we reflect on pivotal life moments, ask thought provoking questions, and dream up new possibilities for living a life you love that may be a little out of your current reality. I’m Lauren Best, a certified hypnotherapist and provoker of possibility, and I’ve created this podcast for people who are curious about exploring new ways of living, who are looking to connect deeper with their bodies, their intuition, their hearts, and then known and who are really ready to just embrace their most authentic selves, to move into flow and into alignment. There is just so much that is possible for us when we open ourselves up to exploring new possibilities beyond our wildest imagination. So if you’re ready and curious to begin exploring new possibilities, join me every week for a new episode of Provoking Possibilities on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Let’s dive in. Hi everyone! I am so excited because we’re going to get into. A little bit more about you and personalities and just all this really fun stuff around the Enneagram.

    Lauren Best (00:01:22) – And I have a huge expert in this, Jackie Cohen, who has been referred to affectionately as an iron fist in a velvet glove. I’m excited to find out what that means, and she is just such a fun and passionate person. She really is so passionate about, you know, just making sure that self-awareness is demystified once and for all. She’s a life coach and personality coach. Enneagram coach. As I mentioned, she is just such a dynamic and out-of-the-box thinker and champion for personalities who believe they are limitless, which this podcast really is all about trying to share with all of you that there are so many possibilities out there for us. And with that, like just opening yourself up to the idea that there are limitless opportunities. But going back to Jackie, her passion is very simple. She helps people craft their own narrative with the right language, the right tools and insight to enjoy their human experience and live their dream life as themselves. Her. She has a very heart centered approach and, you know, just wants people to experience that within the purpose that she has to support other people to this day to have a purpose.

    Lauren Best (00:02:38) – And so her down to earth approach provides a very safe space for people to explore that to, you know, the different types of personalities which we will get into. And she is just an obsessive learner like myself and avid Christian Oscar, so it’ll be really fun to explore. We’ve done this a few little conversations and I just can’t get enough of her. So welcome Jackie. Oh my goodness thank you.

    Jackie Coban (00:03:04) – Oh thank you so much Lauren. Honestly I we’ve had I think what a handful of conversations so far together. And I’ve enjoyed every single one of them. So I just know this one’s going to be the thing I’m thinking about for the rest of the day. I’m so excited. Thank you for having me.

    Lauren Best (00:03:17) – You’re so welcome. Thank you for coming, because I think the first time we connected was on your podcast. And so that was I feel like I was like a baby, like just starting my journey of being a hypnotherapist. And it’s like probably a year later or more probably more than that.

    Jackie Coban (00:03:33) – Um, more because I haven’t had a podcast for a bit, actually, like, I’ve, I’ve it’s not it’s not down. So people can still find your episode if they like. Yeah, yeah. But uh, but yeah, it’s been quite a while.

    Lauren Best (00:03:43) – Wow. Amazing. So, so since, you know, well, since we talked, you know, I’ve been following the work that you do. And I know the Enneagram is something. And personality, um, is your forte. And I know that Enneagram from the the basic understanding I have is a way for us to really and you can probably expand on this, but really be able to find parts of her or like pick out parts of our personality and help us define different parts of our personality for each person. So can you. For those who haven’t heard about the Enneagram, can you give us like an overview of what it is, what it does for us? I know it’s a, you know, a great tool that people can tap into.

    Jackie Coban (00:04:24) – Yeah. No. Of course. Um, so in simple terms, just to make sure that we’re all on the same page, the Enneagram is a personality typing system, and it helps to place people within nine personality types that are not measured by behavior. Even though behavior is an indication of motivation, it’s measured by motivations, fears, core things that don’t really change in us, but either get managed or mismanaged throughout our lives and manifest a certain way. And so in the longer version, if I take out the word personality, it’s basically who you’ve been, meet who you’re supposed to be. And then there’s a nice bridge called the Enneagram, right in between that says, this is how you get there, and this is how you know, if you’re off track. And so it’s been just such an incredible and I love this word sustainable, part of my coaching practice because I remember thinking, okay, like I, I’m not an entrepreneur, I’m a helper. And if I want to help people, I have to know them and it and they have to know them.

    Jackie Coban (00:05:24) – And if they don’t, we’re both in deep yogurt. So I got into the Enneagram for myself, for my own life, because I was very much nameless and faceless, walking around through my life and unknown to myself. And, uh, that tool has just been incredible. So basically, long story short, it’s personality typing, but it does different things than other personality typing systems like Myers-Briggs, which is also really beneficial. Or, I don’t know, BuzzFeed’s What Pasta Are You? Which I’m sure does something, but but all of the personality typing really is just a road to get back to yourself, period.

    Lauren Best (00:05:58) – I love that. And I remember asking you, I think the first time we met, um, because you were kind of like sharing with me. Oh, I think you might be this or, you know, we haven’t we hadn’t done any assessment just from our conversation. And I, I was in this point in my. You know, it’s like really funny when you look back.

    Lauren Best (00:06:17) – You’re like, that was two years ago. Like, I like I obviously am in such a different place in terms of my spiritual journey or my self-development journey. Right. Like and I will continue to look back in years to come, you know, at these moments in the past where I thought, oh, you know, I’ve come so far, which is true, but it’s like I remember in that moment being like, I’ve done so much work, which I had, but I was still at that really like baseline of getting to like ground level because I was in such a lower place before that. So I remember asking you something like, can it change because I’ve done all this healing? Where can you know I have changed? And of course I had, but I remember you saying, like, again, it’s not something that will ever change, but as you mentioned, it’s something that you can, you know, understand so that you can like manage things differently or you begin to react differently.

    Lauren Best (00:07:11) – So for those people, I think and just to maybe even, um, share with, with us a little bit more around that, like, what does that look like for someone who is on this self-development journey or has been, you know, doing different healing work, who is feeling those shifts like they are feeling those shifts? And, you know, when it comes to the Enneagram, how does that how can that help them like to be informed or to kind of bring any insight to how those shifts, like, are happening in their lives?

    Jackie Coban (00:07:49) – Now? That’s a that’s a wonderful question, because I feel that it is disheartening when, you know, it comes across disheartening. I say, um, when people hear that their type doesn’t change, because when you hear your type, you feel naked, you feel vulnerable, and you’re like, this is the worst out of all of them. Everybody. Everybody I’ve ever typed has said, this is the worst one out of all of them. And I’m like, I guarantee you it’s not.

    Jackie Coban (00:08:08) – None of them are bad, actually. So I’d say you’re yeah, right. Like your your essence, your personality, um, all of those different things, if you think of it like this, who you are as a person is a muscle that atrophies without use like any other muscle. Right. And so if I say to myself, you know, I, I noticed because of the Enneagram, I noticed these tendencies, I’ll speak for myself as a type two. I’m a giver or helper, and I have a natural ability to give. I have a natural ability to help other people. I have a natural ability to meet people where they are. To give or take. Ten years ago, I was incredibly motivated by securing my place of love in people’s lives, and that’s why I did it. Growing and growing through the Enneagram helps me to maintain who I am the giver, the helper, the warm person, the person that meets people where they are. But my motivations are completely different because I’m like, oh, I don’t have to earn love.

    Jackie Coban (00:09:05) – I could just be who I am. And so it’s kind of like, and I make this funny joke. But when you decide to grow or level up or be the best version of yourself, which I hate those phrases. They’re so cliche, but truly, like, if you want to just if you want to get unstuck in any way, shape or form, you don’t become a different person. You stay yourself, but you grow like a tree or a flower or anything that you plant just grows bigger and more beautiful as a version of itself. But it doesn’t change. And I think that’s kind of what we have to take out of our heads, that if we feel like we have to change or are disheartened by the fact that we don’t become a completely different somebody else. That’s kind of step zero to personality work. Is I okay? There is a complete discrepancy between the love I’m supposed to give myself to actually succeed, and the liking I actually take to myself. There’s a huge gap there right.

    Jackie Coban (00:09:58) – Mhm. Mhm.

    Lauren Best (00:09:59) – Oh it’s so interesting because it like it even catches me just hearing the way that you explain this and like this idea of like our personalities don’t necessarily change but it’s like that growth. It even catches me in just the way that I was talking about myself. Right. And like I’ve changed so much and I, I, you know, that I guess that is still naturally part of my belief. But being able to reframe this as like. I am always me. I get to be me. Yes. And I just get to grow. And that may look like embracing different parts of myself that I wasn’t before. I think that it like like I feel empowered.

    Jackie Coban (00:10:38) – Okay, no, honestly.

    Lauren Best (00:10:40) – And in shaming it.

    Jackie Coban (00:10:41) – It should be empowering, right? Like I’ve always taken a comfort to like, you know, like I, I remember this like one time I was with my mom and I was at her house, and I was just she was like, making us breakfast or something, and I was like, closing the cabinets behind her because she’s like a little bit of, like a tornado, right? And she just looks at me and she’s like, you’ve always been like this since you were little.

    Jackie Coban (00:11:02) – And she started laughing. And there’s a little bit of comfort in knowing there are some things you just don’t choose about yourself. There’s a comfort in knowing this is who I am as a person. Like, what if I invest in that? Like, what if I invest in what’s already here? You know what I mean? And, um, yeah, there’s something just really beautiful about. There’s something really beautiful. Excuse me about, um, you know, being face to face with that mirror, and it’s a bit of a journey, but, God, it is the most rewarding thing, honestly, to know. To know myself has been the biggest gift of all time.

    Lauren Best (00:11:34) – Yeah. It’s really it is so much fun, I think, because I remember as a kid, even in school when we would do like different quizzes about our personalities or. Yeah, I think we even did like this is so. I think this is so bizarre that we would do this, and I think it was in.

    Lauren Best (00:11:52) – It would have been junior high. We’d have like around Valentine’s Day, these quizzes that we would fill out and then it would like pair you up with like females and males. Who are you most compatible with? Like in school in junior high. Yeah. Now, now reflecting on this, I’m like, this is wild. No.

    Jackie Coban (00:12:11) – Like I’m like, I’m like shook. I don’t know what to say.

    Lauren Best (00:12:15) – I don’t know.

    Jackie Coban (00:12:16) – To the children.

    Lauren Best (00:12:17) – To the children. Like we did this in junior high. It was like a school activity that the school, like, organize. It was like something stupid. I don’t know, wild. I don’t know if this happened in every Canadian school division or if it was just in Winnipeg. Weird. But I remember, like doing things like that or, you know, whether it was like personality or like you compatible with, like, even your jaw, like what future jobs you could do or this or that. I remember always being like, so excited about those things because I think it was a way where I could, like, feel understood, because I think I had felt misunderstood.

    Lauren Best (00:12:54) – A lot of like I had felt that a lot growing up. And so anytime I would do something like that or a quiz or whatever, it was just like this rush and excitement of like feeling understood. Even though, you know, I don’t know, they’re all kind of they’re all very different. But, um, it’s interesting, I think, to sometimes go back to some of those things and like, I for sure recycled all of those Cupid quizzes, but, you know, anything like that where it’s just like, you know, we had these moments. I think, um, for me, like growing up where that curiosity was always there, but I never really knew what to do with it next. Like, there were always those quizzes and this and that. And I feel like having this coach as you or any other coach, right, to really like take us to the next step, is where we get to really take it to that next level. Embracing who we are and being proud.

    Lauren Best (00:13:49) – And so what has that been like for you? To be someone who is maybe curious about these things too, then like getting to step into this role of of taking things further for yourself, but also other people?

    Jackie Coban (00:14:02) – Yeah. No. So I a note on what you had said earlier. I think there’s like value in so many personality things. And I think my favorite is, you know, the 16 personalities or Carl’s young Carl Young’s theory, things like that. Right. I have known I’m going to say this, please don’t shit on my life. I have known that I am an INFj for like since high school, like for a long, long time. Ask me what I’ve done with that. Besides tell other people nothing. Because all all it’s done, all it does is and not. Excuse me. All it did for me in in this, in that realm, based on what I needed, was help me to explain what to to others. Excuse me. What to expect from me.

    Jackie Coban (00:14:45) – I’m extroverted. I’m intuitive. If I’m judging, I’m feeling like. Or whatever the thing, whatever. But you know, MJ feeling judging. Yeah.

    Jackie Coban (00:14:55) – So.

    Jackie Coban (00:14:57) – The Enneagram is different because it’s just for you. Like even if your partner uses it, even if your son uses it, even if your coworker uses it is just for you. Like it is such an A to A, not a B like an A to a thing. Um, that it’s one of those things that like, it’s incredibly clear what you need to do. It’s incredibly clear who you are, why you are, and what you need to do to get unstuck in specific areas, as opposed to helping other people kind of know what their what they’re going to expect from you. So, um, as like being a coach, one of the most beautiful things that happens is, you know, meeting with people. And I guarantee you, every person I’ve met with has said something along the lines of, just like something’s missing, something’s not right.

    Jackie Coban (00:15:43) – Like I like I tell people all the time, I help limitless people finally start living their lives, you know what I mean? Like finally start living their lives because there’s something missing and it’s them. And so being able to talk to people about their core, like their whys, their big whys, right? Like the when and how and, and all of these different things about them. It’s like giving them a key to a home that they’ve like, had no idea they’re about to inherit. Right. And going here it is like we’re going to reach these goals. But I just I here’s the key. Walk around the house for a little, make yourself at home. Like that’s really that’s really what it is. Because I want to say like oh you can reach this goal. I remember, you know, I remember once, uh, being interviewed by two people and I asked one of them, they were like, I don’t understand. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know why.

    Jackie Coban (00:16:32) – It’s I don’t know why it’s important to like, know a person to help them reach a goal. Like personal trainers don’t do that, which is very, very true. Some financial analysts don’t necessarily do that. That’s very true. So I asked, I was like, hey, uh, person A, could you run seven miles? And he’s like, uh, no. And I was like, are you willing to try right now? And he was like, yeah, definitely. And I was like, okay. And then I, the person beat, uh, can you run seven miles? He’s like, no. And I was like, are you willing to try? He’s like, definitely not. I was like, okay. Yeah. I was like, so you tell me that if two people have the same goal, there’s not two different reasons why they’re not reaching it and it’s not based on them. Like, I, I, I guarantee it. I remember my first roommate telling me constantly, I was standing in my own way, and I had no idea what that meant until I started.

    Jackie Coban (00:17:16) – Yeah. Peeling back layers of really, really, truly what that meant. I only really started reaching my goals in a sustainable, tangible way. Um, after I started learning why I wasn’t reaching them. And that’s the key, right? That’s what it is. Yeah.

    Lauren Best (00:17:31) – Yeah. And and I think that example that you shared, which is amazing, um, really speaks to as well, like there’s different ways we’re going to get to that goal, that same goal. Right. Even if we have the same goal, you know, there are, you know, someone willing to try and just do it where someone’s, you know, someone else needing to do other things in order to get there. I think really, it’s like this whole societal thing of like, you know, set a goal, do these things and you’ll get there, like guaranteed. And it’s like, well, no, maybe these steps aren’t actually going to work for me because I, I get to be doing this instead.

    Lauren Best (00:18:10) – But I actually just I’m so unaware of it because I think I should be doing it. Yeah.

    Jackie Coban (00:18:14) – And your why is very important. Yeah. Right. Like, you know, the follow up question I asked both of them after was why? Why are you willing to try? And then why are you not willing to try. Because that’s important and that matters. And I even last night I was talking to my fiance about one of the personality types. And, uh, it hit home for him. And because he was like, oh, I can identify with that. And I was like, and I and I was like, oh, well, the big question is why? Because I remember hearing about the Enneagram and all of the nine personality types, and I know that there are just nine for everybody out there, but trust me, there are hundreds and hundreds of variations of who you could be as a person. Um, but, you know, just because you can identify with something, why is the is the big is the big thing? Because, you know, I think I said this to you previously or maybe to somebody else, I’m sure.

    Jackie Coban (00:19:04) – But you and I could probably walk into the room and experience joy, give joy, smile, be warm, love our environment, try to take it in. And we have two very different reasons for doing it. Um, two very different reasons. We are all like the main characters of our own lives. How dare we not get to know ourselves? Yeah, you know what I mean.

    Lauren Best (00:19:23) – Yeah, I love, I love that, I love that so much I yeah, I think in the Instagram Live we did together, you shared that example as well of walking into the room and having that different y. And um, for people who are curious, like where did they get started? Where did they, you know, when it comes to obviously you offer typing sessions and stuff like that, but where can they like, where should they start if they’re just like wanting to dip a toe or even those who are ready to dive in? I mean, obviously everyone’s gonna. Be different as they approach this.

    Jackie Coban (00:19:59) – But yeah. No, I think that’s I think that’s a great question. Honestly. My I, I’m not going to give a specific title but start with the book. Go on Amazon, type in Enneagram book and see what fits. And the reason I say that is because some people are spiritual and they use it for spiritual practice. Some people are, um, you know, religious and they use it as a religious practice. I use it as a psychological, human based, very neutral practice. Everybody is different. Right? So I would say honestly, get a book and start reading, read every single one of those personality types. Mhm. Um, even if you think you found yours, um, do not take an online test. Please, please, for the love of God, don’t take an online test.

    Lauren Best (00:20:40) – I’m like, I’m gonna Google a test after this. Just. No, you’re.

    Jackie Coban (00:20:44) – Not. You’re gonna talk to me for a few minutes. Uh, I look, I am.

    Jackie Coban (00:20:49) – I am much more apt to like typing my barista face to face in six minutes. Then I would be to be like, hey, just take this quiz. Because let me tell you, there is nobody across the table to go. Well, um. Why? Yeah. Well, why did you why did you flinch when you said that? Or, like, why are you trying to hide a smile or, you know, and then they’re like, well, because up until last year I would have answered like this. And I’m like, then that’s the answer. You know. Yeah. You know, and so my gosh. And so it’s a very, very, um, it’s very interesting. So please don’t take a quizzes has have definitely gotten better. But even the best ones, even the paid ones can only do can only compute what you’re pressing. And that is just not the same as learning your personality. I took online tests before I started studying the Enneagram, and I kept typing as different types that on the outside had certain traits, um, and behaviors that I was like, okay, like make sense? But it doesn’t feel like me when I read about the type two, The Giver.

    Jackie Coban (00:21:56) – I was, I was devastated, I was devastated, I was like, there’s no way they know this about me. Bastards. Like, there’s no way but it. I was like, dang, those those online tests are wrong because they’re measuring the wrong thing. Yeah, yeah.

    Lauren Best (00:22:12) – And it’s so interesting. You you mentioned this earlier too, of like how people when, when you type them or even when you figured out that you were type two, there’s that like devastation feeling of like, oh yeah, this is the worst one. I feels.

    Jackie Coban (00:22:25) – Naked. Yeah.

    Lauren Best (00:22:27) – And so like, how do you.

    Jackie Coban (00:22:28) – How.

    Lauren Best (00:22:30) – What is that journey been like for you or with your clients to get to that place from like that, that kind of I don’t know if it’s embarrassed, but that nakedness and that like, oh like really to like this empowerment.

    Jackie Coban (00:22:45) – Under that, under the ugly is understanding, right. Because under the you do do this don’t you? And then they’re like, huh, uh, well here’s why.

    Jackie Coban (00:22:56) – Right. And so, um. Oh, you. You have a tendency to not finish things, don’t you? You have a tendency to jump from one thing to the next, and they’re like, um. And then I’m like, well, that might be because if we stay in one place for too long, we feel like we’re going to get trapped. And they’re like, oh my God, that’s it. That’s literally why. And there’s something that understanding brings. There’s something that the Y brings. There’s something that the antidote brings that goes, oh. I don’t need to be ashamed of what I’m doing, because what I’m doing is a symptom of what I’m motivated by. You know what I mean, right? Yeah. And so it’s like there’s there’s a little bit of shame, fear and anger that comes up in everybody when we learn about our Enneagram type. Honestly, like I, if I’m being completely honest with myself when I read about the type two, I closed the book and didn’t touch it for six months because I was like, they’re all mean.

    Jackie Coban (00:23:54) – You know, like all of.

    Lauren Best (00:23:55) – All of these people like what they said.

    Jackie Coban (00:23:57) – No, really. Honestly.

    Lauren Best (00:23:59) – Um, yeah.

    Jackie Coban (00:24:00) – But the truth of the matter is, is, is, you know. There’s a lot of sometimes guilt, things like that. And I have to tell my I tell myself all the time these things are just emotions, which means they’re manageable. I got to I have to learn this because there is this kind of idea of like, once you know this about yourself, if you’ve been dying for a change, if you’ve been asking yourself, is there, is there more? Is this it? Those kinds of things, you can’t learn these things about yourself and then look the other way and go, that hurts too much by, um, there’s just something in us that is compelled to understanding ourselves at all costs. Um, yeah. And it’s. Yeah, it’s really good for those things.

    Lauren Best (00:24:37) – It’s amazing. Oh my gosh. And I love how you shared that example of how for you like your, your this is your work.

    Lauren Best (00:24:44) – And this is like how you support people and guide people. But to know that you had that experience as well of just like it feeling so unsettling and like uncomfortable and you know. Yeah. And I know you mentioned like the different ways that people use it and that being religious or spiritual or this like level of just really being able to understand yourself. Are there other ways that you’ve seen people use this that other people could maybe imagine themselves using it for?

    Jackie Coban (00:25:15) – Absolutely. So people use it a lot in relationships. Like I said, the Enneagram is just for you. And I say that to say a lot of times I end up not working with potential clients because I realize they’re not there for them. They’re there because they’re husband wife, so-and-so is XYZ and they need to know, like, what do I tell them? And how do I? And I’m like, oh, so they need to work with me. You don’t like I get what you’re saying. Okay, so we’re not working together. Um, so using it in relationships is an incredible tool.

    Jackie Coban (00:25:46) – When two people use it individually, um, and you use it to understand each other because they understand themselves, there is a level of understanding somebody else. I don’t know. My partner’s my fiance’s Enneagram type. I do not know it because he, yeah, has recently become ready and open to the idea of learning it. Um, and when, you know, when he chooses, we’re going to go over and figure out what his type is together. I don’t know his type. And it’s been using the Enneagram in our relationship has been great because I use it for me and I use it based on me. And so, um, using it in relationships, using it in the workplace, using it among, like team members, things like that is always helpful. Using it in your friendships, your friend groups like I’ve done, um, like wine and cheese nights with groups of girlfriends because they’re like, you know what? We’ve been friends for so long. It’s about time we understand each other.

    Jackie Coban (00:26:34) – And I like applause, applause to that, you know what I mean? There’s you can use it for anything. I have met with clients who only want to work on their eating habits based on their personality. They only want to work on their finances like you have no idea. Like personality based everything, right? Enneagram based, anything if you want. And it just depends on what you want to do and what either goals or life you want to reach and live because you have to take you with you. So the Enneagram could start you off in anything if you want it to.

    Lauren Best (00:27:07) – Wow. There’s just there’s so there’s limitless possibilities. No, really there is. Yeah. Oh, it’s so cool. Well, thank you so much, Jackie, for just sharing. You know, I know there’s so much more to it, but just really giving us this overview of what the possibilities are and like, you know, where people can start and, and how to approach it. I think that really reframed things for myself as far as being able to see this as a tool for myself and not just for, you know, sharing like that expectation of how people should, you know, receive me or whatever that may be.

    Lauren Best (00:27:46) – So this really was so helpful, and I’m curious to know, and if you can share with everyone where they can find you, how they can work with you, what what more can they do to get more of Jackie and the Enneagram?

    Jackie Coban (00:28:00) – Yeah, absolutely. So you can find me on Instagram. I’m at table for nine coaching. It’s four and the digit nine. Um, I take forever to respond to DMs. Ask Lauren, but I love the same way.

    Lauren Best (00:28:14) – I’m the same way I love them, but it takes me like it takes forever.

    Jackie Coban (00:28:17) – So but I but I do. I do love a good DM, I love a good. Hey, can I ask you a quick question like, you know, go, go for it. You know what I mean? Um, or you can go to know your damn self.com. That is my website and you can find me there.

    Lauren Best (00:28:29) – Yeah, I love it. And I know you, um, mentioned previously about couples, and I know you have a very special offer that comes around Valentine’s Day.

    Lauren Best (00:28:38) – Can you tell us more about that? Because I’m very curious.

    Jackie Coban (00:28:41) – Yes. Okay. So for the month of February, I love doing joint typing sessions, which is one of my favorites. So I run a sale and it’s basically three 90 minute sessions. Um, it is one with you, one solo, one with your partner solo to figure out those Enneagram types and go over them individually. And then we take what matters from each person. And. Then we do a joint typing session together, and we talk about the two types together for 90 minutes. And it’s just something that’s really, um, especially for couples who’ve been together for a minute and you’re like, we do just go out to dinner again. Like it is like a whole different. It’s a whole different. It’s a whole nother level, you know what I mean? Um, so I love doing that for the month of February. And you can you’re going to be able to find that information on my website and things like that.

    Lauren Best (00:29:26) – Oh, you’re just you just crack me up like you are so funny and, like, just so wonderful to be around. I’m like, I need to find a partner just so I can do this session with you.

    Jackie Coban (00:29:36) – Do it with a friend. I won’t get mad, I.

    Lauren Best (00:29:37) – Swear I won’t.

    Jackie Coban (00:29:39) – You know what? Honestly, whoever’s listening, I promise I won’t ask weird relationship questions and and I won’t get mad if you’re, like, actually, like, she’s my friend and we’re just I don’t care. Just do it. Just find a friend. Just find a friend and do it.

    Lauren Best (00:29:51) – Maybe my sister and I need to do it. That’d be good.

    Jackie Coban (00:29:54) – That’s sweet, that’s sweet. That’s. I mean, honestly, that’s helped me in a lot of, like, close, you know, family and, like, things like that help us talk to each other. So it’s. Yeah. Totally.

    Lauren Best (00:30:04) – Yeah. Oh my gosh, it’s so magic. Well, thank you so much Jackie.

    Lauren Best (00:30:07) – Thank you so much fun. I’m like, finding myself not wanting to leave talking to you, but but I hope yeah, we’ll do it again. Exactly. There’s many more where this came from. So thank you everyone for listening. And head over to Instagram. Follow Jackie and see you know you know what you can discover about yourself in the Enneagram. So thank you jacki.

    Jackie Coban (00:30:29) – Thank you.

    Lauren Best (00:30:35) – Because you’ve been listening to the show, I want to leave you with a little treat, which is one of my favorite hypnosis audios that will help you let go of the noise and worry from your everyday life by bringing you to a place where you can connect with your subconscious mind and imagine and dream about your life. Because as we continue to move through ebbs and flows and seasons of our lives, there will likely be times where envisioning new possibilities becomes difficult or where we struggle to move out of that autopilot mode and into self-awareness to really live the lives that we want. So do listen to this audio. It will encourage you to keep dreaming about your life, even during uncertain times where new possibilities may feel cloudy.

    Lauren Best (00:31:18) – Hypnosis has been such an amazing tool that I myself have used to move from a state of overwhelm and stuckness to really being able to keep dreaming about my life. And I know you can too. So visit the link below to download the Visualize a Life You Love Hypnosis audio for free or visit my website Lauren Bascombe. Thank you so much for joining me on this journey of exploring new possibilities and embracing your most authentic self. I appreciate you and your willingness to open your mind and your heart to new ideas and ways of being that are beyond your current reality. So if you found value in this episode, please take a moment to leave a reading and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to this podcast. Your support helps us to spread the message of compassion, self-discovery, and personal growth to more people who may benefit from it. And if you’re looking for additional support on your journey of self-discovery and transformation, I invite you to visit my website at Lawrence Bascombe, where you’ll find resources, courses, and coaching services to help you navigate life’s challenges with more ease and joy and confidence and support.

    Lauren Best (00:32:40) – So please check that out. And more than anything, I hope you’ll remember that you’re not alone on this journey. We are all in this together, and by embracing our most authentic selves, we can create more compassion and connection to the world. So please keep dreaming, keep exploring, and keep provoking possibilities with love and intuition. I’ll be back soon with more thought provoking questions, inspiring stories, and powerful insights and conversations to support you on your journey. But until then, take care of yourself and others and remember that you are worthy of love and possibility.

     
     
     
    Hi, I'm Lauren best!

    Hi, I'm Lauren best!

    Opening your mind to exploring new possibilities for living a life you love.

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